Wednesday, July 6, 2011

Why I left public school.

All I wanted, was to be that kid. The artsy kid. I was it. I WAS the artsy kid, all of middle school. Ninth grade hit, my score was leveled out to zero, and yet, I raised myself pretty good. Was dating one of the top artist in the school, went to art club religiously, had a steady %110 in art class, came to art events, helped set up and dis-mantel, hung with the older kids in the art department .
I had it all, within months. Weeks, even.
Soon, I dumped that person. Lost the friends. Had no one but the art teachers.
She found and didn't like my etsy, and interrogated me with other art teachers.
So now I really did it... everyone hated me.
My effort went back down to zero. I didn't even do projects. I hated looking at the teachers and old friends, feeling like a failure... Like I make huge mistakes... Is there such thing as a mistake?
I never attended events, and my grade went down... in ALL classes...
My friends left first, then the teachers just helped boot me out...
I was ready to slice my wrist open again.
They wouldn't care.
Why should they?...
So I retreated basically... I could never feel like myself again in that school.
That art department was everything to me.
When I lost it, I lost my damn mind.
I left. Now I'm home schooled.

I know I usually sum things up with a happy ending... but I feel things are still only getting worse for me... 
Story's still going I guess.
See you then...

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