Jason.

“I gotta’ go.” Said Brandon. Jason grabbed him close.
“Why?” he said with a frown, holding Brandon tight.
“Because- my mothers here, that’s why.” Jason gave Brandon a kiss and left him on his way. He went up the nearest staircase with his school books in hand, passing class rooms and the second set of stairs. In that set, he saw a figure and thought nothing of it. Then he thought. Then, he stopped.
“Guess who!” Jason grabbed Brandon from behind. Brandon shuck from him.
“My mother is right outside that door, do you honestly want her to see you?! She’ll kill me!” As Brandon shouted, Jason looked like a sad puppy.
“I’ll see you tomorrow…” Brandon kissed Jason and rushed out the door leaving him behind.

Later that night
Brandon sat and thought of that day. Jason. He thought of what could have happen if his mother had seen him with a boy. Should he risk such a thing? Was he ready to let his mother know?
No.
He texted Jason.
Look I know you love me and
I love you. But this is crazy…
I just don’t think it will work out.
I’m just not happy. I can’t keep
Hiding from my family.
We’re over Jason.

The reply? Brandon never got one.

He arrived at school the next day, acknowledging his mistake he made last night. ‘Maybe he didn’t get it…’ he thought. Hoping to explain what was really going through his head last night. There was no sign of Jason anywhere. The morning shot by and it was second period. He walked in, sat his books at the art table and sat down. The corner of his eye stalking the entrance door. Student after student after student. Then flying through the wind, with his hair flying back, marched in Jason. He sat by Brandon the hole year, but today he went to the opposite side of the room. He wouldn’t look once at Brandon, while Brandon watched him all class.
He wouldn’t look once.
 It went on like this for a couple day’s until he walked up to the person sitting next to Brandon, gloating about him dating his ex again.
‘He’s dating… Benji?…It’s only been three day’s…’ Brandon thought. Later that night, he knew he had small time to get back what was his. He messaged Jason, tried talking, but Jason ignored.
Again. Until once more, he replied. Awful things were said…
Brandon tried. And tried. Tried some more. One time he asked “what are you doing?” and Jason replied “I’m with Benji, you don’t wanna know what where doing”
Brandon still loved him. Brandon went to bed at night, thinking of Jason. Living together one day. Work. Kids. House. Pets. All of it… It was as if Brandon wasn’t single. He couldn’t have a crush on anyone, he even attempted to have crushes for the longest time… Yet Jason was the only one who had any space in his heart. When ever he now messaged Jason, it was pleading and suffering words, missing his love. Missing what was his.
Jason didn’t even want to be friends.
Jason told Brandon to leave him alone.
So now… School was painful… But the most painful thing was soon enough, Jason stopped coming to art… in fact he got transferred out… He was now cut off from Brandon.
So the messages and text’s and everything, where being shot by Brandon by the dozen’s.
Jason dodged them all.
Soon enough, Brandon ran out of options… All of Jason and Brandon’s  friends where to busy with their life’s to stop and see Brandon’s pain. To help. To talk to him. To just give him a hand and a hug.
This A+ class president, had one other thing…
Business and financing class… where he felt heard, needed and wanted… ‘Someone actually need’s me…’
Brandon shot his way to the finals, and received a second place award… Truly an amazing prize. It’s something a thousand other kid’s in this school, didn’t have.
But all he wanted was Jason.
The second place was out of the question…
He thought maybe if he had first, Jason would listen… Silly, but he would try anything…
So after the trophy’s were handed out and everyone left, Brandon felt as if he lost it all.
He did.
His friends may not of abandoned him, but his mind abandoned them…
The teachers seamed to all turn on Brandon, with his new attitude opposite of his happy go lucky one…
And Jason… Jason was really gone…
This A+ Class president, began to get F’s in all his classes… He began skipping scool class at a time and soon enough, not even waking up to go…
Why go?
Why go to a building full of hundreds of kids… if you still feel alone?
Outcaste?
Un wanted?
Useless?
He slept his day’s away…
Alone.
Depressed.
And to this day, everyday, he fights it.
Theirs a thousand and one details missed in this small section of Brandon’s life, but the key points have been noted….

They say “Don’t do something permanently stupid when your temporarily sad.”
What if this is permanent for Brandon?
Will these thoughts haunt him every night, like they still do?
When does this train wreck end?

August 4th 2011 Brandon R Wagner