Fourth of July 2011!

My 4th of July 2011
It’s 12:00, your at aunt. Lisa’s, and you stay up well past, to watch ‘I love Lucy’ reruns with Ashley, as Ally has passed out. You finally pass out at about the time past when everything is making you laugh. (6:30?)
Allison wakes you up, dressed and ready. So you rush off the bunk and do so as well of course.
Bad news, your not going to the harbor. (sad face!) So you decide to go to Unger’s Field near your dad’s house to watch fire works later on tonight. You get there, staying at Heather's near Unger's, and talking to Kodi online, he decides to stalk you there. (Just  kidding) You take a couple moments with Ally to look for him, lost on a forest path. Fun, right? Anyway… you guys meet up and he’s yelling at Savannah about gay stuff. (legit, lol) then you find a spot on the hill, waiting for fire works. Some girl yell’s at you all for cursing. You laugh, no one else does. Awkward moment, but you regret nothing! Allison will complain for two hours, wanting a blanket to sit on. Her and Kodi, barely get along, you keep the ice clean though! Totes! Kodi, is such a trololol. Lol. The sun goes down some, fire works start. They, sucked. Jen came soon. Sam came too, to chill with Ally, while you and Kodi ditch to catch up with Jewels, Dom, Claudia n’ Tessa. Eventually, your all back with Ally at the ‘spot’.
Then, you eventually all leave. Nice, right? You go to get your money from Ally, and come back to hear a few things they still don’t know you heard…
Good things… Right?
So the whole walk, your mind is thinking and racing and you, for the first time, feel that old friend coming back. Depression?
Sheppard Pratt, broken hearts, scars, all come to mind. You think ‘fuck no’ but deal with it.
You get the low stomach feeling, and yet, find the power to think… what if? Maybe it will work this time? But the voice even now, is trying not to drown among the “No way!” voices…
On your way back, your munching on ice-cream hiding yourself kind of… the best way you do at least. Act WAY over happy, assuring everyone but yourself that your fine.
Your back at the park entrance. You all party, and chill in the road. Happy, sort of… people begin leaving…
Soon everyone is gone… You know what I mean. ‘Everyone’.
You and Ally walk back to your mom’s. You talk about ‘it’ and she and Sam already sort of knew.  She supports it in the way’s she can.
Your smiling about it now. Expressing your emotions within the situation…
You text certain people, get support with these feelings…
Your up all night, texting and being quiet, until Ally passes out. You go up, toss and turn, and CANNOT stop thinking of it.
What’s wrong with you Brandon? Really?! Remember this situation… 3 years ago.
Will it re-play?
Now your in your room, the next day, Ally left, your thinking about it…
Lost…
You won’t let yourself believe the mutuality, because you believe the opposite…
Damn bra, your confused!

Next day, July 5th 2011
You wake up, late, and go to see Miss. Francesca for your appointment.
You talk about everything sort of… You couldn’t bring up the ‘it’ situation… She asked about it though!
It’s like everyone already knew! Everyone already asks you non-stop about it… friends and now her.
You still stood quiet.
You go home, and hike around with Ally, she goes home and now your writing.
Time for music? I think yes.
I hope you get what you want… or realize what you want.
Good night. <3